If you want to change how things are in your relationship, then it’s up to you! Your partner is NOT going to change just because you want a healthier relationship. All humans are predominantly driven by an element of WIIFM. What’s In It For Me? The first step has to start with you. When you make changes in your attitude, perspectives, awareness, and behaviour, that’s when the dynamics in your relationship start to change. Your partner may make not one jot of change! But still your relationship is different. It may improve just because you are in a different head space.
Even if it doesn’t shift your partner’s attitudes, perspectives, awareness, or behaviour, you are still better informed about your relationship. You’re in a better place to make informed decisions. That’s why I regularly work with just one party in a couple relationship. Because it’s amazing what can happen if you take back some sense of control or even if you "let go". Thanks to Karen Wallace from The Calm Space‘s recommendation, I was reading a simple blog post by Miki De Vivo of The Still Space. She wrote about how she made one change in her life and how it created a little win for her as a parent. I loved how she sat with this little tiny win that perhaps only she would notice, and felt satisfied. She knew it wasn’t world-shaking, but it just might shake HER world! Wouldn’t you like that to happen in your world? How much of a difference would it make if that little change was in your relationship? How would that impact your happiness and contentment? Like ripples in a pool, a tiny attitudinal change can help you become less stressed about how your relationship is being shaken up by parenting, money woes, your sex life, sharing the chores, or even that intrusive Mother-In-Law! Would you like to try it and see? ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ I’m a Melbourne-based Relationship Advisor for couples who fear that their second marriage could fall apart just like their first did. I help them by reskilling them, in effective relationship behaviours, so they can be confident they won’t go back to old patterns! Why not follow me on Facebook where I share my own and all sorts of other resources? Warm regards Chris Owen